No Good Deed

You may have heard the phrase, “No good deed goes unpunished.” What it means is those who perform acts of kindness are doomed to have it backfire on them. Last week, there was a Twitter dustup that reminded me of this phrase. Let me start by saying, I’m not commenting on that situation but rather on what it reminded me of.

My daughter was reading this over my shoulder and sighed because she thinks I’m about to advise you not to be kind. She couldn’t be more wrong.

Years ago, while sitting at my desk, I overheard my boss talking to our telephone rep about the latest calls. Let’s call her “Bailey.” Moments, later Bailey walked out in tears. Concerned, I asked the boss what happened. He said he didn’t know. She just suddenly quit and walked out. About ten minutes later, my phone rang. It was Bailey, asking me if I could bring her things downstairs. When I met her downstairs, she was a wreck. Our boss had a powerful personality, and she became flustered as he asked her questions. She became so nervous she quit though she didn’t mean to. She was at her wit’s end because she didn’t know what to do. I sent her home with a promise that I would talk to him. After some verbal arm twisting, I convinced the boss to let Bailey have her job back. He called and told her to return the next day. She called to thank me for looking out for her. I was happy things worked out.

The next day, Bailey didn’t show for work. Of course, the boss looked at me to find out what happened. I called her and was greeted by a brand new person. Gone was the crying wreck from the day before. Bailey told me she didn’t want the job anymore. She told me she had a better job and she didn’t ask me to do anything for her anyway. She ended the call by saying not to bother her anymore. Well okay! My good deed turned into someone talking trash to me and my boss being angry because the rep never showed. You would think I would say I would never help anyone again. Not at all.

I didn’t help Bailey because I wanted clout or her gratitude. I did it because I honestly just wanted to help, and if she didn’t want my help, that was fine. If you’re upset someone didn’t appreciate your good deed, maybe you should ask yourself your true reasons for helping. Did you do it expecting reciprocity? Did you do it because you wanted to be seen as a good person? Did you do it because you wanted that person to owe you? If you did, maybe it wasn’t such a good deed but a selfish one.

A week later, Bailey called to ask for her job back because things didn’t work out with the “better” job. Too bad we had already replaced her.